So lately life had just been mundane. Not much going on and not much to tell. Well my husband is in full swing of his cycle and recently there has been much going on! Let me fill you in on Basic Training screw ups!!
**Names have been changed to protect the stupid**
Private Ryan** is really allergic to ants; and where I live there are LOTS of them. So Private Ryan has an epi-pen that he has used all to frequently during the course of the cycle. OK....one moring the troops were doing P.T. (Physical Training) and Private Ryan sat down in the middle of an ant hill. Here is how the conversation went between my husband and Private ryan..(curse words have been edited)
Private Ryan: "Drill Sergeant, I just got bit by an ant I need to use my pen"
Husband: " Go ahead soldier, do what you need to do"
P.R.: " Yes Drill Sergeant"
H : " I need to let the First Sgt. know so I'll be right back"
P.R. : "40 rounds Drill Sergeant"
My husband goes and lets the 1st Sgt. know that Private Ryan is using his epi-pen and to call the medics because he'll have to go to the hospital and get checked out and issued another pen. Upon returning to Private Ryan my husband notices that a crowd has gathered around him; my husband starts thinking that Private Ryan had went into shock or had passed out or had stopped breathing so he runs over to see what the matter is. When he gets there he notices that Privat Ryan is fully alert and talking to everybody
H : "Private did you use your epi-pen"
P.R. : "Yes Drill Sgt. but in stead of putting it in my thigh I missed and it is in my thumb"
H: "What the *%#$!!! PRIVATE HOW DID YOU MISS YOUR BIG UGLY THIGH AND STAB YOURSELF IN THE THUMB?!?!?!?!
P.R. : " Drill Sgt. I was shaking so bad because I could feel the ant poision in my body that I missed.
H: (rolling eyes)
P.R. "Drill Sgt. I don't think that my epi-pen is working."
H. "UM yeah. you just put it in your thumb...you expect it to work as fast as it would if you put it in your leg???
P.R. "yes becasuse blood goes thru my thumb also"
My husband was speachless for the first time in his life. He had nothing else to say to Private Ryan except "report to me after you get back from Urgent Care."
There are some strange characters that come thru post during basic. They are from all walks of life and each has their own reason for joining, but the one particular story my husband recently told me takes the cake.
It was at the beginning of the cycle and he asked some of the soldiers why they joined the military. He got the usual, "because my dad/grandpa/uncle/brother/cousin/whoever was in the military and it is family tradition", the unusual "I was sitting on my couch getting fat and the only way I thought I could lose weight was to join the military", and the strange " I was dared to join by my buddies, I won the $200!", but the one that stood out the most was this one " I joined so I could be like Rambo, ya know go to the jungle and hide out and then kill people." My husband said " ok Rambo but did you know that we fight a war now in the desert??" what he said next I will put my hand on a stack of Bibles and swear to...."so where am I supposed to hide?"
Some peoples kids. There is more but I'll leave that to another blog. So TTFN and tune in for another saga of "what privates say"